The Heaviness of Breathing: A testament of forlorn hope

After years of hard work, unspeakable sacrifices, and no positive results, in November 2018 I had a few weeks of total despair. 
Because I was unable to move forward, a had the impulse to write down all that I was thinking and thought in the past. 

The Heaviness of Breathing: A testament of forlorn hope is possibly the worst book ever written and I don't recommend anyone to read it.
Yet, I know for sure that many would relate to most of my depressing thoughts.

This is very bad self-publicity for an author who takes pride in her self-help books.

But if you think about it, what person is more entitled to write a self-help book than someone who fell and failed massively? 

Despite the countless setbacks, I am determined to succeed in my writing career. 

This wasn't the first time I fell with a crash, but this is the first time when I got up so fast. 

My crawling, utter despair and self-pity lasted only for a couple of weeks. 

It was a highly intensive fall, but I fought against it by writing without refrain everything I felt and thought. 

Some of my darkest thoughts scared me to death, but more than that they made me feel ashamed and extremely guilty. 

I have legs, hands and I hear, speak, walk. Why in the hell do I feel so desperate? 

Never mind. 

I don't expect people to buy and read my book, although that would make me happy. 

But what kind of book is it? 

Is it a memoir, a diary, an autobiography or what? 

I don't know. 

It's what you want it to be. 

In my (twisted) mind, it's a motivational work. 

The following is the book description from Amazon. You'll notice many contradictions in it. 

But are they really? 
'This is the worst story ever written, an endless journey of a forlorn hope. 
The darkest thoughts of a hopeless author, the fears, the blindness of the mind, the self-sabotage and self-destruction feelings are all exposed without refrain. 

Phobias, guilt, the sense of not belonging, the imposter syndrome, worthlessness, emptiness, hopelessness, are all devastating emotions that many of us know well. 

"To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow..." Andy Williams

What about aphantasia? 
Picturing images in the mind is a supernatural power, a key to success, that not all humans possess.

Can you see the light at the end of the tunnel? 
I can't right now. 
How do I get out?  

I am the master of my destiny.'

Found in: a testament of forlorn hope

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Racism Without Racists - What do You Know about Immigration?

True to fact stories.
Discrimination and Abuse.
A story of survival.

I am an immigrant, like you maybe, and this is my truth about immigration. A true story. A story of many... Too many. Is it yours too? 

You too are a prisoner of geography who lives in a world of racism without racists?

If the answer is Yes, my heart goes out to you.

This motivational and inspirational memoir is for YOU! 

Buy it from Amazon in both electronic and paperback versions. 

Discrimination, prejudice, exploitation, and abuse are what I know best. For the world, I am a human of inferior birth, but I know that is not true.

I don’t want to take anything from you. I just want what’s mine by birthright. I deserve to be considered human. A human like you.

This true story of survival is a work in progress.

---

17 years ago, after living under a very oppressive communist regime, I left my homeland for the first time.

I didn’t want to abandon my parents and the only reality I knew.

I cried in despair thinking I will never go back. I hated my destiny... my siblings’ destinies. None of us wanted to leave.

I know I am one of the lucky ones. I didn’t cross oceans and seas in shipwrecks.

I didn’t walk for thousands of kilometres as some of the people I know.

I didn’t live in barracks and ate from a trash bin.

My heart goes out to all these humans who went through unthinkable situations in the pursuit of happiness.

---

I have been treated in diverse ways during these years, but seldom fairly.

For many, too many, I am a human of inferior birth, not worthy of consideration.

• I have no country now. No identity.
• I feel like I don’t belong anywhere.
• I feel like the world doesn’t want me. 

I haven’t seen my eight (remaining) siblings all together in seventeen years.

I know that only a tragedy will reunite us. But I don’t want that tragedy. I want to hug my siblings and have lunch with them. And I want to visit my dearest’s brother tomb and leave a flower on it to make him realise we haven’t forgotten him. He will live in our hearts forever. 

---

The UK, the country I love very much, has voted "Leave." 

• Should I pack my bags?
• Should I give up my dream?
• Nobody wants Romanians. Is there anywhere I could go?
• How am I going to provide for my octogenarian parents who survived the Second World War and raised ten children under an oppressive communist regime?
• Is it really true that this world is not for people like me?
• What should I do?
• What can I do?
• What would You do if you were me?
• Would you dare to ask for your human and civil rights?
• Would you cry and feel alone in the whole universe?

I hope you’ll never have to find out. 

***

Is reading a burning desire?
Join an author who cares. Read the stories You Love.

Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Google+.

And if you like my books, why not leaving a review on Goodreads or Amazon?

Support the indie author who writes for YOU! 

Found in: communism manifesto

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Author for Life or for a Living? - A Self-help Manifesto for Writers & Poets

I don't know you, but I find it very difficult to be a writer at this time. 
It's daunting, depressing and very frustrating. 

Why do you write? 

• Is it for money? 
• Vanity? 
• A sense of accomplishment?
• Is it a test?

Whatever your reason is, you have the right to fight for your dream. 
This self-help book is for YOU! 
Buy it from Amazon in both electronic and paperback versions. 

***

Being an author has always been your dream, but everybody told you’re insane, right?

I know the feeling. 

The competition is ferocious, the readers are the leaders. It’s a grim time to be an author, but it’s also the perfect time.

I am here to tell that your dream is possible… if you work hard and never give up.

• Faith is what you need first.
• Self-esteem is second.
• Self-confidence comes with knowledge.

To build these, you need time, determination, and self-discipline.

You can be whatever you want to be.

---

Perhaps you already are a storyteller.

• Have you written anything yet?
• How many books have you published?
• Are they popular or nobody knows about them?
• Have you already given up or are you close to failing into misery?

Been there, done that. This book is for you. 

---

For a person with a huge dream, like you and me, there is no writer’s block. For us, there is fatigue, frustration, hopefulness & disappointment.

• Cry if you must.
• Scream if you feel the need. 
• Then take a deep breath and start over. Again, and again and again.

It’s not over until you get where you crave to be. 

---

The genre you chose is not that important because there is a market for every book, every story, and every author. 

• Learn from those who have the experience. Nothing is too small or too big. 
• Motivation and inspiration are very easy to find. 
• Time is not a boomerang, waste it wisely. The only moment you’ve got is Now. 
• Don’t build your fame destroying others. Another author is not an enemy. He is a dreamer just like you. 
• Be truthful to your human essence. Follow the Golden Rule: recognise, appreciate, and respect. 

Make no mistake, the universe will return what you give. 

***

Is reading a burning desire?

Join an author who cares. Read the stories You Love.

Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Google+.

And if you like my books, why not leaving a review on Goodreads or Amazon?

Support the indie author who writes for YOU! 

Found in: change your life

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God is Weary - Short Tragic and Witty Stories

This is a collection of short and not-so-short witty and tragic stories. 

The common denominator is the relationship between family members, especially between parents and children. 

Stories of emotional and physical abuse that make you cringe and cry.

Only for soulful. 

Find it in both electronic and paperback copies only on Amazon. 

***

God sighs and says to Peter, “I am on the edge of a
breakdown. I need a holiday. Now.”

Peter looks at this man with silver wavy hair and beard and
replies, “No can do, man.”

“I am not a man, Peter. You know this, and I am asking for a
break. I am exhausted, and can't think straight. People are unhappy, always
complaining, asking without giving, and I can’t stand this anymore. It’s an
endless nightmare.”

“Sorry, God, but that's what you have signed for.” 

“I haven't signed for this at all! Nobody asked me if I
wanted this job, I was born into it. It is not fair, and I demand a break now!” 

---

In a universe where humans ignore what defines humanity and
mothers fail to love their offspring, there is a weary God watching over.
Children catapulted in the adulthood way too early. Unfit parents who blame them
for their broken lives. Dysfunctional families, abusive relationships,
siblings in distress, humans adrift. But also humorous stories with God, Peter
and Steve as protagonists. Nudism and communism. Tears and laughter.

Only for those who cherish emotions and real-life stories. 

***

Find it in both electronic and paperback copies only on Amazon. 

Found in: author and poet Cristina G.

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iLive: Family Can Kill You - A Romantic Suspense

A book filled with intense emotions, feelings and behaviours

• Fear
• Love
• Devotion
• Sacrifice

A romantic suspense for sensitive people only.

See it on Amazon în both electronic and paperback versions.

***

Dysfunctional families with unfit parents and abusive
relationships are more common than we think. Children, women, and men are
emotionally abused every minute. Women who love too much suffer in silence and
break inside. A romance novel with twisted tales and romantic suspense.

---

My name is Beatrix, but you may call me Bea. I’m 40, single, and
utterly alone in this world. One day, in the
middle of May, I was walking on an empty alley in a park enjoying the beautiful
colours of mother nature. A child was moving among the flowers. I stopped and
looked around, but there was no other human than the little one. I didn’t know
what to do so I took the phone to call 112. Suddenly, the child spotted me and
started to run in my direction speaking words I couldn’t understand until she
got very close. “Mummy, mummy, where were you?”

---

A nurse came invited the visitors to leave. Dara cried when Ray
took her away. “I want to sleep with Mummy,” she screamed. The desperation in
her voice made my heart bleed. Ray didn’t regain his health yet, so he fumbled
and almost fell. I begged Dara to calm down.

“But I want to stay with you,” she cried.

“Me too, sweetheart. There is nothing in this entire world I would
like most. But I’ll come home soon.”

“Promise?” she said with hope.

“Promise.”

Found in: Cristina G.

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It's Never Game Over by Cristina G. - A Self Help Manifesto for All

• Do you have the impression it’s the end of your life?
• Do you feel haunted by the past?
• Lonely, despondent and purposeless?
• In the clutches of depression?
• Are you out of hope and a step away from giving up breathing?

---

Suicide is not the ultimate solution.You are strong and resourceful. Don’t pull the curtains just yet. There is always a way. Whatever your situation is, You have the power to change it.

• Solitude is a gift, loneliness is a choice.
• Depression can be overcome.
• Happiness can be learned.
• Self-esteem and self-confidence can be built.
• Motivation and inspiration are in front of you.
• You can develop mental toughness.
• You can lose weight and find love.
• You can heal and transform your life.

Dreams come true if you don’t give up.

---

• You can’t control the weather, but you can learn to control your perception of it.
• You just have to believe you can!
• This self-help book is the reply to your Mayday.
• You are the master of your destiny.
• You are the placebo and the universe is on your side.

Take life in your own hands. All you need is within your reach. You can do it!

---

A motivation manifesto that speaks to you.

Personal development is a lifelong process.

Have you started working on yourself yet? 

Now is a good time for running.

You are what you believe.

Believe you’re happy and you’re halfway there! 

"Ask and it shall be given to you."

Fight and you'll win!

All this and much more in It's Never Game Over - by Cristina G. A revolutionary self-help book for all. 

See it now in both electronic and paperback versions only on Amazon. 

Found in: change your life

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How Much do You Know about Endometriosis? - Childless by Cristina G.

Have you ever heard of endometriosis?
If you haven't, I am happy for you.
It means that nobody you know or you, is affected by it.

Endometriosis is a women's disease.
A painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus grows outside your uterus.
Endometriosis may involve your ovaries, fallopian tubes and the tissue lining your pelvis.
There are cases in which the endometrial tissue spreads beyond pelvic organs.
Some women with mild endometriosis experience an awful amount of pain, while some with severe endometriosis feel no pain at all.

Endometriosis is often diagnosed in infertile women.
Nobody knows why and where does it come from and that makes it impossible to treat.

I know a lot about endometriosis and vulvodynia, that's why I wrote childless: How to Cope with Endometriosis & Vulvodynia - Holistic Approach - to give a personal insight, courage and hope to women affected by it. 

The price of the eBook is the lowest allowed by Amazon - $ 0.99 - but today, 8 of March, it's free of charge. 

Do you know why?
Because on 8th of March of every year, all countries celebrate Women's and/or Mother's Day. 
This is my gift to You, precious woman. 

Plus, all my paperbacks have the printing price - the minimum possible - until 18 of March. 

"When God created humankind, He gave everyone the gift of procreation.
Then it was betrayal, pain, and chaos.
Women in terrible pain realised that they were different from most.
They were deprived of this primordial right.
Angry, exhausted and in agony they live the inferno on earth.

Do you recognise yourself? 

I know how you feel. My heart goes out to you.
This illness memoir is for you. It’s filled with practical, inexpensive, and very useful recommendations. The power is in your hands.

Endometriosis and vulvodynia are mysterious maladies, extremely invalidating both physically and psychologically.

The road to the correct diagnosis is a calvary. For years, women around the world are lead to believe that they are insane, not broken.

That’s why I distanced myself from doctors and decided to take a holistic approach. I am reborn now. And you can be too.

Stop crying, precious woman, there is always hope.
You are worthy of love. 
You can find peace and purpose without being a mother."

Do take advantage of this now.

Romance, suspense & drama:

1. Half my Age plus Seven - A Sinful Confession 
2. Half my Age plus Seven - Too Good to be True 
3. iLive 
4. God is Weary

Memoirs, self-help, inspirational & motivational:

1. Oranges at Christmas in a Communist Country - 2nd Edition
2. Ten Years in Italy, Thee Weeks a Human 
3. Humans Cursed by Geography in the Pursuit of Happiness
4. Racism Without Racists 
5. Author for Life or for a Living? - Manifesto for Real Writers
6. It's Never Game Over - An Informal Self-Help publication

In Romanian:

1. Îmi Curg Mucii Deci Exist 
2. 41 de Rețete Dulci și Sărate de Sărbători 
3. 41 de Rețete Practice și Simple de Borșuri 
4. 41 de Rețete Dulci și Sărate de Post 

Happy Women's Day! 
You are Loved. 

Found in: 8 march

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